I have always thought that the best way to figure out how to deal with people is to first figure out what makes them the way they are in the first place.
If anything it helps you feel less offended when people say something hurtful.
Because the truth is we struggle with communication so often because of how the interaction makes us feel when it goes wrong and it’s the taking it personal where we lose control of the outcome in almost every interaction.
I have spent my life reverse engineering how people end up the way they do in order to better understand their perspectives.
Understanding other perspectives is a great key in persuasive communication. The act of understanding has done more to allow people to come around and change their mind than any other tactic for negotiation.
Understanding other people’s perspectives isn’t just something that makes you sound like a person who cares about other people. It gives you great power to be able to get what you want in this world without force.
All of what we need will always require us to interact with other people. So why not do get the things you need without having to fight for it.
Life is full of constraints that you can’t control and the last constraint you want to have to overcome is one you place on yourself.
When we are not able to have productive conversations with other people we are killing off opportunities success and happiness at our own hand.
The starting place for understanding other people is always going to be your willingness to listen to listen to their perspectives before you make assumptions about them.
Give people the opportunity to express themselves and you will find that when it is your turn to talk you will get a lot further.
Be less inclined to be defensive and you will automatically become more receptive because you will see that most people’s unwillingness to do things is not about you at all.
It’s about this:
People want to cooperate with people who acknowledge them.
It isn’t what you ask of people that they make a decision on. It’s the way you listen to them before you ask them to cooperate.